(((((((((((((((((figuring it out))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry you don't see any hope right now. Whenever you are ready, please feel free to post more so that we may have some more insight on what you're going through. Please hold on, though. Don't give up--you aren't alone.
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"We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut