My counselor has used the term "retraumatized" to describe those times when I get set off and feel the emotions I did during the original trauma. It's not a new trauma, just a resurrection of the old one. It totally sucks.

I know what you mean about feeling both safe and not safe with your therapist. I'm sorry his eyes are scary right now. Sometimes my T has me put a number on how much I trust him, and I'm usually at about 80% trust. That's enough to work with, enough for me to allow him to both push and comfort me, but I do hope it increases.

I hope you're feeling better next session.