Hello,

I am new here. I think I have a problem. I'm very disturbed by society, by people, by everything around me. I don't mean for this to be a diatribe; I only want to explain my dismay. I feel very out of place, like I shouldn't be here. I often wish that there were a place to be brainwashed, or that we were all brainwashed institutionally so we could all agree. I think people find me very intimidating, as I don't smile a whole lot. I do not remember a lot of my childhood. My current life is a bit hectic.

I have very little faith in therapy for myself, because I know that there is such a volume of history behind me, and in every person, that we have all experienced, and I could show or reveal one part while concealing the rest to make the diagnosis go as I want... The questions asked of me are not subtle enough that I don't see through them, and it is no longer accurate.

Somehow, I am compelled that finding a significant other would satisfy me, as they would be a person I could open up with (I know this expectation is a bit unrealistic, but it is desirable nonetheless). Ironically, I am very anxious about talking with women. Most of my friends do not bring girls or their girlfriends around, and I am very apprehensive about approaching women I do not know, as I feel they assume the worst (I know I would if I were accosted or interrupted).

There are too many particular facets of society that I find confusing or otherwise nonsensical to list economically, though it has been described by a friend that it does not seem like I want to be human, but a machine. I agree that being a machine would significantly facilitate life (if not in fact negate it and its hardships!), but I fear too much discipline. I don't know.

What do I do? What can I do?

Sincerely,
Me