i became friends w/a co-worker whose wife of 29 years was dying of brain cancer. we spent a lot of lunch hours talking about the anger, the hurt, the love he had for her. we would occasionally have lunch or go for a bike ride together, but never anything more.(not that we didn't talk about it) after she died he became more than a friend although it wasn't common knowledge.
the problem came when his 18 year old daughter(only child) found out. she threatened to not speak w/him anymore. i tried to see her point of view, losing her mother only 6 months earlier. i have only met her a few times and that was mostly "hi" or a question or two.
we(my friend and i) started spending 2-3 days a week together and a few weekend getaways here and there before she really knew we had a serious relationship going, and then one day at work after x-mas he said " we just have to be friends. can you live with that?"
i'm so confused and when i tried to question him further he would just say that it was wrong to have a relationship so soon. and then he wouldn't talk to me at all. i am heartbroken because we had talked about how much we felt at ease with each other and how comfortable our relationship was.i feel deceived by him, used by him, and mad at his daughter.
i recently e-mailed him at work (he just transferrred to another dept., which he had asked me if it was okay to do way before any of this came about) and told him that i have thought about him every day for 3 1/2 months and i wished it could be the way it used to be. his response was that he needed to make up for lost time with his daughter and he didn't think it could ever be that way again.
i miss him so awfully, terribly, piningly. i don't know if i should just let go or what??? i found my soulmate and it's heartbreaking to have him so close yet for me to be unable to touch him, hold him, talk with him.

alikat