Pat,

I hope you don't find me guilty of hijacking your thread, but I think this is most appropriate as a response, not as a new thread.

I love this community...I have been here for over three years, and the people here have seen me through some of the darkest periods of my life. I am so grateful to have found this site, and I love everyone here dearly.

But I am concerned about my online home. In the years that I have been here, I have seen this site grow and evolve. Sometimes new restrictions had to be put in place to protect the community. Sometimes it was to expand the scope of this site to serve some people's needs that weren't being met. There were times when not everyone agreed about the changes...allowing new and possibly disturbing subject matter onto the forums is frightening. But the thought was always that this site is meant to support people who are in pain and in need, and sometimes that meant opening up to something new.

I've seen an awful lot of statements here lately that say, "if you don't like it here, you can always find another site," and it makes me very sad. No one site can serve everyone, and there are always going to be times when people will just find that this site is not what they need. But people come here in need...and I am sure for many of them, as it was for me, it is very difficult to reach out and ask for help. And to finally reach out, to ask for help, only to find yourself told to go someplace else, must be very painful. I would sincerely hope that we all would do everything we possibly could to try to understand and accomodate someone's needs before we sent them packing.

I would also hope that we would be open to critique...after all, how can this site remain vibrant and continue to grow if we never allow any alternative viewpoints to get in? Sometimes critique may sound like criticism, but again, that is a product of the pain people at sites like this are in. But if we try hard enough to understand the underlying issue, then perhaps we can find a way to address the criticism, and maybe make the site a better place.

The security and safety of the members here has always been a top priority for this site. John's mission of never using what is posted at this site for research purposes, or allowing others to do so, is the best evidence of that. But even though maintaining a safe environment is the number one goal, I don't think it should be the only goal. When my agoraphobia was at its worst, I couldn't get out of bed without having a panic attack. I felt safe in my bed under the covers. But where would I be if I hadn't given up some of that safety, and left my bed? When considering our safety, we should also consider that sometimes we need to deal with uncomforable things in order to grow.

I love this site, and I think that John has done a wonderful job, as well as all of the mods. And it is precisely because I love this site, that I want to see it remain open to the growth and change that it has seen through its lifetime.

Jo