hi dear prue ,
i am so sorry you are so sad. i agree with the post that suggested you go talk with someone who understands where your mind is today. there was a time when i felt as you do. i had lost all hope or rather that was what the depression was telling me. i took all the strength i had and reached out for help. i really didn't think they could help me but they did! that was 18 years ago. i've had so many years of joy because i took that opportunity and reached out. you are doing that at this forum and we do care. there is an old saying that the "hardest door to open is your own".
you have already done that by opening the door to us. try to do it again and get some one-on-one help where you live with a professional. the reason i can say this with such conviction is that i had to do it too and i am so grateful to God that i did. if you don't believe in yourself right now, believe in those of us who do care. you are one of God's children. we do care, prue. help us help you.
i'll pray for you and let us know how you are doing....doesn't matter how low you are. we need you too!