I don't know what will make me happy...

I have tried education, but I cannot live up to my own expectations or potential. I'm too old to be stuck where I am in school. I cannot move on and I cannot stay here. I don't even know if it's worth it to finish at this point. I cannot get over my anxiety long enough to do well and it just feeds my depression until I don't want to go on anymore.

I wanted a few things out of life, a decent job, a good relationship, and some sense of accomplishment. I didn't think it was too much but here I am, again, still, with nothing.

I have lost touch with most of my friends and don't even want to be around people anymore.

I am trying medication, but they don't seem to work. I have tried therapy, but I can't even seem to get that right...

Now all I do is lie in my hole of despair contemplating how much I hate my life; Contemplating why I must suffer when those whom have hurt me succeed; Contemplating how much longer this can go on.

My life is empty and I don't see how I can get anything that I truly want out of life. I am tired of trying. I am tired of all of it.

Nothing ever gets better and when a glimmer of hope shines through, it is quickly snuffed out by reality.