ok so about the mountain thing.......can i come visit alot? LOL. Im sorry that its so hard now. The thing is that I have learned is that in our bleakest moments just when we feel we cant do any more someone comes. Things change so fast and tomarrow is a new chance for something better. somedays I sit and think how much of this can I take how much more can I do and then somehow i keep going and slowly things seem to fall into place. You need to look at how you look at u. (dont throw something at me) I hate when people say that to me, so sorry but maybe its true. maybe your a highly sensative person like me and you view the world different then other people...we see thing in life no one else sees and that makes it harder. I dont know. I just wanted to let u know I am here I read your writing and I am trying to connect with you.