Y'all are so good! Thank you so much for the support and understanding...

No gnomes last night since I didn't sleep, but dozed and heard every flea in the room pass gas. In the still of the night is when I do two good things--think without distraction and it used to be a great time to jump the bones of my sleeping SO
Sorry if I embarrassed anyone with the bone statement!

For sure, I broke a cardinal rule of not allowing myself to get drawn into another's drama. In my years of being a psych nurse, it happened twice and that was enough to teach me not to do it again.
It's been hard not to do it with family and friends. They are masters at doing the guilt trip thing, but it's up to me not to start on that trip.
Well, that shows some egocentric thinking...why on earth did I let myself entertain the thought that I could help them anyway? I need to stay out of the way of their professionals and remain on the sidelines as a cheerleader...

I still feel deflated. It's like a pinprick allowed a whole lot of me to escape, and I can't find all of me.
Perhaps it's because I should be filling up with more positive things. Oh Joy.
Sometimes I get so freaking tired of learning the same lesson over and over again. I know I'm hard-headed--was told that 5469 times before I was twelve--but once in awhile it would be nice to remember it the first or second time around.

Cap