Quote:
Originally Posted by angel12
I am 38, seperated for 3 years now, and my life is getting worse. I am smoking weed all the time, and falling into bed drunk everynight. i feel so down,enev though i want to quit, I can't .
I live alone and I get really scared here at night. I just find life feels unbearable, and being wasted makes the day more bearable, sighs.
Sorry this turned into a rant,
Angel
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hey angel,
glad you're venting. the mood altering drugs you are using are just making you feel worse 'cause they are depressants. been there done that, so i know where you're at. when we abuse drugs/alcohol we are either trying to get a 'new' feeling or to get rid of of a feeling we have. 
the good news is you are being honest with yourself and others right now. there are support groups, like AA, that are out there for you. just "take it a day at a time".
course you probably know all of this stuff but just a reminder: you can stop the cycle. you'll do it like the rest of us "when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired." sounds like maybe you're at that point now.
"you can start your day all over whenever you want to" and today's a good day to do that. hang in there. we're here if you need us. 
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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