I know this is a yucky topic. I pretty much hate it as well. But I have to go for my exam on saturday. I really hate going. Besides it being emotionally painful, it's also very physically painful for me as well. I like my doc, she's nice and all. She takes her time with me. But the whole thing is not something anyone ever enjoyes. I just hate going and I have going to the doctor. It seems that in the last 6 months I've been in the doctors office at least once every month. And in dec. I was going like every week because I was not getting well at all. I'm just tired of going to the doctor knowing something is wrong and them knowing something is wrong, but yet never finding out what is causing me to be sick. Guess I'm just hoping that they will finually find some answers. My blood presure is a roller coaster going up and down. Now it's around 148/98, my white blood cell count is high, I have blood in my urine ( they have done test and it's not an infection causing it) I can't walk down my driveway to check my mail without getting so out of breath that I feel like I could pass out. I've gained so much weight ( and it's not do to medication, I'm not on any psych meds ) Gained 20 lbs since last summer and 50lbs in the last 5 years. My thyroid has been check twice already and comes back bordline, but not anything to cause the weight gain. I'm just tired. Feel like my body is falling apart and I'm trapped in it. I just want some answer, give me some reason for what's happening or send me to someone else. I know I'm depresed and I know it takes a toll on your body. But I've had clinical depression since I was 10. I know how my body reacts to being depressed. This is not depression. I just hope maybe saturday goes better and I get some kind of answer.