First of all, sabby, sorry about your hubby. Mine did that in April, changed his mind, we went through therapy, and here we are again at the same place.

Now for the OP: Talk to your therapist about confronting your Mom. If she had that much control over your life, she can easily take over again if you are not careful. I understand your need to fight back and take control, but please make sure you are ready. I applaud you, though. I have just recently started taking control over my overbearing father. Please let us know how this goes!