Eva,

There have been many posts on this board over time describing similar things to what you seem to be describing.

My suggestion if you are interested would be to use the search feature here and search the Depression forum and the Psycotherapy forum with the term "dissociation" and you'll come up with many hits.

The Dissociative Disorders forum here has several threads that may relate to what you describe.

In the resource directory up top here clicking on the Dissociation link will bring up a link to a site called Empty Minds. Their page on the dissociative spectrum:
Empty Memories Dissociation
hth