I for one will miss "all" of you as I was only aware of the connection between two of the names.

I think you are wise to take action to improve yourself and if this site is no longer a helpful part of that healing/improvement then you're insightful to see that and move on.

Your comment about being here months and no one knows you resonates with me. I've felt that way before on boards. I had the good/bad fortune to know a gang o people from years on another board so I came into this community knowing a few which was like getting to go to college with a few buds from home so things aren't quite so scary.

But just because I know these folks doesn't mean I didn't have one helluva time coming out of my shell here to post in other forums besides the ITL when I first arrived. I think Fayerody said we were like a covey of quail and yes we were! Freaked out and completely confused by this 'group' of people who seemed to be 'in' with each other.

Perceptions can be distorted by disease/disorder. Moods can affect how one views life. I know for me that when my diseases or disorders are not being treated as well as they could be and I'm not making my best effort daily to stay compliant with treatment than I start to believe the distorted thinking that runs through my mind like the wind. My distortions often were that everyone else was so tight with each other and I was so on the outside since I wasn't a huge PMer type of person and chat scared me for the longest time. I believed that lots of ppl were friends and knew one another for ages. I was SO WRONG about making a bunch of those assumptions! My brain tricks me sumthin' awful at times. stinky ol' ill brain!!

I'm neither hurt nor offended by your post. I think you were honest to let us know who you were/are and what is going on for you.

Thank you for sharing this with us and I will miss you.

kindly,
__zh

p.s. I always thought your uniform pic was snappy and you looked very together in it.