Hi there,

My father in law is dying of a brain tumour and I'm supporting my partner, only 33 and an only child, watching his dad die, and helping to support his mum. It's just awful and my mum died of cancer when I was at around the same age. So I'm a great support but of course it's triggering depression and grief in me now - I got through my own mum dying by smoking marijuana every day, using valium, drinking like a fish, being reckless with relationships/sex etc, as a single student person at the time.

Now I'm a 'responsible' 'grown up' with a proper job, how the hell am I meant to support my partner, deal with my own grief, stave off a bipolar/depression triggered by this stuff, with no drugs, moderate alcohol etc! ???!! i don't know how to do it. My instinct is always to numb myself. How to face it with grace and somehow deal with the feelings?