I am a sophmore in college at a small midwest liberal arts college in a suburb of Chicago. Last winter I met this girl, who we will call Erin, at a fundraiser for a Habitat for Humanity trip we were going to go on during our spring break. From the moment I met Erin I knew there was something. I got to know her over the spring break trip and throughout the next months. I found out many things about her and I began to care deeply about her. I found out that she, as well as I, held her first kiss. As a matter of fact she had never had a boyfriend, which I found as a major turn on and as an incredible thing because she is a beautiful girl. I watched her grow and become the amazing person that she is and I realized that I wanted to ask her out this year. The major issue with this is that other guys have asked her and and she has turned all of them down. Also, I had conversations with her about dating and all of them bascially said that she didn't want to date anyone. So over the course of the last year I have tried numerous times to 'get over her' so that I don't hurt myself by asking her out and getting shot down because I know she doesn't want to date at this time. However after this last spring break trip(which we both lead different trips, I was in West Virginia and she lead a trip to Texas) I came back to school wanting to ask her out. I predicted that she would turn me down, which she did, and since then I have been trying to get her out of my mind. If you want more information about what I think about Erin ask me and I can get you more information.

Basically, what I am asking is how do I get her out of my mind? I just don't know what to do I have tried for over a year to get her out of my mind. The biggest sign of affection that she has given to anybody is a hug and that is the best I got, so I have no physical connection to her, yet I cannot let go. What do I do? What can I do?

Also, along with this problem I have noticed that I always have to have a 'prospective girlfriend' to think about. Erin is just the latest, longest, and the hardest to get over. I find that this behavior is maladaptive and needs to stop. I just want help in figuring out how to forget about Erin and stop my maladaptive behavior.

Thanks,
Will