P7, I am not sorry that I asked!
I asked because I care along with many others here...

Your post reflects what it was like for me, and still can be, when those anniversaries were approaching...I was hyper vigilant, highly sensitive, got in a pissy mood real easily.
Ya know what? Those feelings are all right. I did have to learn to compromise on letting them loose when they surfaced. Sometimes I did it calmly and other times I was an itch with a capital B.
It's ok. We do the best we can, we mumble apologies if required for some of our actions, we weep, don't sleep, overeat or not eat...it's tough.
But in time, sigh that other four letter word, we do develop ways of facing them and working through them and it lessens their control over us.
Time. Hold on to the knowledge that it won't be perfect, but it will be different in the way we handle these things.

Please know that I care,
Cap