I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. Regardless of the length of time you've been with someone, there are certain people that you just connect with, and when that connection is no longer there, it hurts. A lot. Still being friends with him makes it hard too because you are still connected but not. Please don't look at this as a blow to your self esteem. As hard as it is, look at it as a gift: You were blessed enough to have known him, but now you move forward to meet the one you are intended to be with. I know the "why her and not me" record is probably playing in your mind--the answer is because you are meant for other things in your life. It's not a personal defect, it's not because you aren't (fill in the blank)_____ enough. Try to stay strong and believe in yourself.