I hate this confusion over what to do. I tooi am trying to decide what to do about my 15 year marriage to a very self-centered man. We have tried so many things but always when we get close to the real issues he quits therapy or otherwise disengages.

I am glad you are away and maybe you can arrage for your wife to keep some of the things she needs, like health ins. She will need to pick up the slack for some things herself. I know that many of us are trying our best to balance financial needs with making the right decision about seperation/divorce and your decision sounds especially difficult. I wish you the best.