Sometimes I did it calmly and other times I was an itch with a capital B.

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that made me smile - thankyou I think ive been an itch with a capital b for a while now off and on - I know i WILL get through this and hopefully without upsetting everyone around me or driving them all crazy -

i guess im just tired - tired and hypervigilant there's a crazy mix for you!
its good to find people who understand - at work they cant work out why i still think about it - well join the club - neither can i - its not like i think ok lets drive myself crazy for a few hours and remember what happened! sorry - that was the itch with a capital b coming out - i only have to survive another 4 days then the 24th will have come and gone for another year - thanks for your support P7