I think theama and I are talking about "normal" porn. Now a big reason why my ex and I broke up (eventually) had something to do with porn. His comp. mouse was broken. While he was at work one day, my step-dad knew it was broken and sent a new one. So I plugged it in and start clicking stuff to make sure it works. And when I open up internet explorer what pops up.... hardcore porn sites. and this wasn't "normal" stuff. It was depicting rape scenes etc... And I have been raped before so this triggered the hell out of me thinking that the man I loved could get off on seeing a woman being battered and bawling her eyes out. And not only that but that he lied to me about it and intentionally kept it hidden.

The stuff Im talking about is the stuff where its obviously agreed on by both parties involved and there isn't any kind of abuse going on in the video. My current boyfriend knows the kind of stuff Ive been through and has said that hes seen videos like that but they dont do anything for him. If that were the case and thats the stuff he got off on then we wouldnt be together.

My view on relationships is... if it makes you happy, do it. if you cant handle with what makes your partner happy then you shouldnt be together. if they quit doing it for you then they WILL resent you. and if they dont stop then you're always going to dwell on it and be unhappy. so either way, one party is going to lose. so if your husband or whoever wants to watch porn (no matter what kind) and you dont like it then there shouldnt be any "im not allowing this" it should be "we shouldnt be together". I dont buy that whole sacrafice for a relationship thing. I havent sacraficed a thing for my current boyfriend and neither has he and were happier than I have ever been in a relationship. As for my previous boyfriends who I have sacraficed things for, and vise versa, we were miserable.

Now Im a feminist too and do agree that, even though theyre not forced to do it like slaves, there are circumstances that make it much harder for women to take control in the sex industry (which I why I think prostitution should be legalized). But I also agree that there are many other ways to get by in life and that they made the decision to get into it. Im broke as hell right now but you dont see me making pornos.

And yes, abuse and porn addiction is an aweful thing, but if someone is going to abuse you or get addicted to porn - guess what... thats their personality. porn didnt make them that way. theyre probably the same people who would get addicted to cigarettes or gambling. there is a specific part of the brain that controls addiction and a known reaction that people who become addicted easily just dont have. that part of their brain just doesnt shut off when its supposed to.

anyways... this wasnt supposed to turn into a porn debate on immorality or right-ness about something. it was supposed to just be a poll for women in the women's forum.

I hope that now, since all of us have gotten a chance to express our opinions on the subject, we can get back to the original post and not turn this into a heated debate and have the post closed down. Any opinion based comments can be directed through PM but its not worth getting the forum in trouble just over a question.