Quote:
Originally Posted by panikgurl
There's too many things going through my head. This always seems to be how I feel lately. My mind starts spinning, thinking, and then I start doubting things. I get this jealousy rage and think everyone is hiding things just so they can turn around a hurt me. These thoughts have been getting worse. I do a decent job of hiding my feelings from my boyfriend. Sometimes I slip and it's too obvious. Then I feel like an idiot when I have to explain what I was just thinking about. I know the thoughts are stupid and I know he's being supportive, but it does help to talk them out.
I'm really good at hiding my thoughts in public. Well, I try to stay away from large crowds as it is. But when I go to work I have no problems and I work directly with the public. Then I come home and deal with reality, I get stressed.
Sometimes I think I have brain tumors and that's why I have the attacks that I have. Plus, being more introvert and having problems breathing in large crowds. None of this stuff ever bothered me before. About 12 years ago I was diagnosed with severe depression and was on meds. Which only helped me sleep. Haven't seen a doctor about any mental issues since then. Stress has been higher lately. Lost my job after 9 years. Job market sucks. My daughter is 3 so shes a handful and needs mommys attention. My mom just had surgery and needs me to drive her everywhere, ok I like driving, but now I worry about gas money. On top of the ever day life.  |
im new here too and started for the same reasons. i know those feelings all to well. sounds like you have allot on your plate. lost a job after 9 years a 3 yr old, and a mom who just had surgery. its probably the stress thats making you feel worse. i have panic/ anxiety issues also and have gotten much worse due to some recent issues in my life, so dont feel like your alone. my mind races also and one thing spins into another usually into a negative spiral. i saw my doc and got put on xanax but im not sure if thats helping much. one thing that does help me when im home is when i start overthinking i pick up my guitar and play and play write new songs try to play songs ive given up on because of difficulty. it helps distract me and focus my thought on thing. so maybe if you have some kind of hobby you like something that challenges you but you really enjoy. i know thats hard with a 3 yr old. i also take my kids to friends houses who also have kids, plan my free time around other people even if i dont want be around anyone. keep myself busy and talk talk talk to my family and friends about everything going on in my life. hope this can be helpful in some way, hang in there and remember your not alone in the way you feel happens to allot of people.