Quote:
Originally Posted by skeeweeaka
I'm sorry you had to go through that as a child. I thoroughly understand how you must feel. It can be difficult. All I can share with you is what my dd T said to me. She said that your mother did the best that she knew how to do for her and you at the time. That may sound harsh, but that is what she did. Now my T said, you have to forgive her and love yourself in spite of what you didn't receive as a child and learn to set the boundaries that need to be set with your mother.
In your particular case I would just explain to her that you need for her to hear you and respond to you when you are speaking with her. Explain to her that you don't feel she does that now. But do that when you are ready to deal with the consequences because she may not recognize what she has done and deny all of it...at least that is what my mother did!
Wishing you well! 
TJ  |
thanks! honestly, other than what i ranted about above, I dont think I can forgive a woman who told me a few years ago that she regrets having married my father...so technically she also regrets having his children and it's probably why she treated us the way she did--at least that's how I see the situation. She had a mother she loved and had a good relationship with her and she has a good relationship with my older sisters (from a different father). I dont know what it was about me/us... I dont think I have it in me right now to forgive her...guess that is what therapy is for. I just wish i had a mother
. I hear all my friends talking about how their mothers are their best friends, and I can't relate at all to those feelings they have...Sorry to sound negative...I would like to get to a place where I can forgive her so I can move on, but as far as letting her into my life, I dont know if I can do that and I dont know if I am at a place to really sit and talk to her. Heart to hearts are not exactly what we do. You keep your thoughts to yourself...kind of the unwritten/unspoken rule...and something else i need to work on in therapy...PHEW i didnt mean to drag on and on sorry...