Well you hit an interesting topic Pink.
Something I never really gave thought to. I typically chose a female doctor ,and if I ever have to go for a pap, the doctor has to be female. When I was 14 I went for a pap, because of concern, and the doctor was a huge male, he scared the crap out of me, especially after having been sexually abused when I was younger.

However, growing up I always wanted a new mom, I know, terrible thought. More because my mom was always there, but never there, if that makes sense. Emotionally she was just never available. One memory that has always stuck in my head was when I was 8, I was so sick with the flu and I had asked her if she could help me up the stairs to the bathroom and she said your a big girl, you can do it yourself. I remember dragging myself up the stairs with my head spinning because I was so sick. In that moment, it was like something hit me, and I was so extrememly hurt by her response. Not sure why it hit me so bad at that point but it did.
(My mom did change over the years, stopped using drugs and cleaned herself up, yet emotionally she still was not totally there. Now I realize that her mom was exactly the same way with her. She was doing what she knew best, something I want to change in my life. I really learned to love my mom through the years and I realize she loved me to, she just didn't know how to show it)

Anyways, here is the strange thing. If I have a male professor I am completely fine, I can talk with him ect. But give me a female instructor and I am so nervous. I will raise my hand in class to ask a question but if I had to go up and talk to a female professor face to face, I hate it. Yet with a male I am fine.

On the other hand, I hang out with females much more. It's just an interesting dynamic that I have not quite figured out yet.

It could very well be that I always felt this need to please my mom and well with instructors it involves work. Who knows...

I do have a female T, and she is great, very professional. However, I sometimes feel that coldness, though she's probably not cold at all. It's the whole she's there, but not there emotionally. Same dynamic as growing up I guess.
If I ever switch T, maybe I will search out a male. Just to see where that dynamic takes me.

Simcha, you are correct, the whole fit in T is huge. Sometimes I think it takes the experience to know what you really need.

The T I have now is my first T ever. I never researched, just contacted a center someone had told me about , gave them some info and she is who they set me up to see. So in that sense, I have no experience, which is why I like to hear how other people went about finding their T.

I did have a little breakthrough this week in therapy, I hope this one is longer lived.

Like you said stated with your first T Pink, You learned something valuable from her.
Each experience serves as a building block for the future.

Hangingon