*hugs* I agree with the other replies too
your posts have always been uplifting and helpful.
Reading your post I have realized some of this, that so many of us are so down on ourselves and made bad choices that it is our own doing that we are down. And we don't pick the way out. sometimes its hard. but even if it's hard to see sometimes, some of us are on the way up even if there are many stones and roadblocks on the way this place and people around help to break them away, even though it's a long road to take. I know personally I often fall backward. I use coping skills that are not helpful. I make bad choices. But I also know that compared to even a few months ago, I am moving on a different path. The other path was downhill completely, but this one at least I am moving away from the dark path. I'll try to make moves down the right forks in the road and go through the suffering required to get better.

You have been so helpful to so many. Don't let the negative feelings make you think there is nothing better. Reading your post, I realized that there is so much sadness here, but I also realize that people are helped. Loads of hugs, and thanks so much for everything you've done