Hey all--

I just wanted to check in with everyone, because I need some major prayers, support, etc. Hell, if you want to cuss me out, feel free to do that, too I just need some sort of answer as what to do before I lose it!!

Apparently the situation that I've been posting about here has reached the boiling point. Because I wasn't sure what else to do, I've been trying everything I can to stay out of April and June's way, just so things wouldn't get any worse--but apparently, that wasn't enough. The other day, I actually finished all of my call lists and asked my supervisor what I needed to do next, since I had some left to put into the database. (They'd been called, but not put in yet as these were done before I developed my "system". There were also a couple that didn't get put in from the other day due to our internet being down.) I asked if I needed to call other lists that were out first, but the supervisor told me to go ahead and enter what I needed to. So that's what I'd been doing. The others were asking if I said that my system had to do with calling some numbers, then putting them in, and why I had stuff to put in if that was the case. I explained what was happening, but I still got the feeling that they thought I was lying because, frankly, having to explain myself like this peeved me.

Then there came today. Our supervisor is visiting b/c we have some training today. April called me over to her desk and said that she wanted to tell me to my face that she was going to meet with our supervisor alone to tell her about her concerns--about the office and me, that she felt that the issues form the other day were directed at her, and I was now considered me untrustworthy & underhanded (because I had apologized to the others who brought up the other issues with me), and "someone to watch out for". She said that if we had to do events together, she would do them, but that we were not friends outside of that. Wow...I was floored to put it mildly, but I told her that was fair enough and that I appreciated her telling this to my face instead of behind my back. I didn't respond with what I wanted to (a whole lot of anger and frustration) because I felt that there was enough fuel going to the fire.

I went back to my desk and e-mailed my supervisor, and asked to have a meeting with her myself as I felt there were some issues that I needed to give my side of the story on--I feel that it's the supervisor's call in the end what she wants to do about this mess, but I also feel that I have the right to defend myself. She e-mailed me back and said that she would be glad to meet with me if there was time (the meeting is on a very tight schedule). I can honestly say that I am more interested in defending myself and setting the record sraight than I am in saying/doing anything nasty, or anything that would make me look bitter.

It hurts, though. And it hurts even more to realize that, because we're a small office, that everyone else appears to be supporting April and June. I feel that I am truly standing alone, and fear that now most everyone apparently thinks I'm a snotty, selfish, and untrustworthy person. I'm not planning to quit, though--I've run from situations like this before, but I feel determined to stand this time if at all possible.

Anyway, I just needed to get that out, and ask for your thoughts. You don't have to agree with them, or me, I just need someone to say SOMETHING, to give me a clue as what to do next. Everyone here has been so great with their responses and advice, and I truly thank you for that.