...because I said so.

I am feeling very crabby today. The last session was so hard. I can't go into it now. I left him two messages that night, after the session, because the stuff is just too hard to process. One of the messages was a verbal promise of safety. I didn't ask him to call back.

I called him this morning asking him to return the call, although I know it will be difficult to connect with him, as I am at work 'til 5, and then have marriage counseling. I was crying in the car on the way to work and there were snow flurries so I was telling him that I am so sad to think of my dad in such a cold, dark place today. I see T on Tuesday.

So because of all the guilt, sadness, frustrationg, anger, depression, stress (add every emotion you can think of) that is going on... I decided he hates me. Yeah. That works.