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Nov 21, 2008, 07:43 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2007
Location: Lily Pad, USA
Posts: 4,025
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How can I make my family understand? Why can’t I make them understand? I hurt. Not a slap a bandage on it kind of hurt but deep down knife in your gut kind of hurt.
Everywhere I turn family is expecting me to be the take charge, get everything done, keep everyone up to date person they remember. But I no longer exist. Even on a good day I no longer exist.
They don’t see there is just a jumbled mass of disorganized nerves, thoughts and actions going nowhere. A good day is getting out of bed. I can’t survive the day without lists for what to do, what to get, where to go.
There are appointments for the pdoc, therapist, regular doc, pain management and physical therapy. Oh and don’t forget the list of meds. Which meds I take with food, which ones on an empty stomach, the ones taken in the morning, those at night.
If I stop going, moving, doing I’m nothing but a mass of sobs and tears. Hell has to be a step up from here.
So many of you have been kind and supportive and I appreciate your friendship. I’m just tired of it all. Why do I even try?
    
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 kebs
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