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I called him this morning, asking him to call back... but I gave him an "out" because I was feeling like a needy asshole. I said to him, "I should have asked you to call back when I left the two messages Wed. night. I wish I did. I would like for you to call back, but it will be very difficult to get in touch w/ me today because I'll be in sessions 'til 5:00 and then H and I have marriage counseling. So if you aren't able to connect with me then I guess I'll just see you Tuesday."
So I'm an idiot. It came off as though I was really saying: "If you don't feel like there is a point in calling because I stated that I am very busy, then don't bother trying."
But what I REALLY meant was: "I'm a needy asshole so I'm giving you every (fake) reason why this request is no big deal for me."
However, that implication was pretty incongruent with my presentation on the phone message because I was crying when I left it.
Well after receiving three messages from me since our session, maybe he could have at least TRIED to get back to me-- and left a message stating that he received my calls.
So now I am positive he hates me. On Tuesday I am going to put it out there. I am going to ask if I am too needy. I will tell him that I FEEL too needy.
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