Can't seem to stop the tears. The things I'm expected to do now were second nature before. I feel obligated to get everything done. Right now my family can't support me and they need me to take care of certain things.

Just found out (not exactly sure of time frame) my mother has a malignant growth on one of her kidneys. She has to have more diagnostic procedures done before they can determine what treatments to use.

There will be surgery, probably the first week of December. She is concerned she might not make it through the surgery because of her age and other medical conditions.

She is afraid she won't see me or my oldest son before she dies. Since nothing is known except that she is going to have surgery, it makes it difficult to make all the arrangements. My family lives from one end of the US to the other. (AZ, WA, PA, VA, FL) I have to get all the flights (coming and going), hotel rooms, and rental cars.

As a frog of little brain just taking care of myself is difficult at times. Now with all the "extras" I'm sinking fast.

I have no idea if she will make it through the surgery. That's in God's hands. She is a feisty old lady so may survive with flying colors. But regardless of the out come, this will be the last time we will be altogether.

It's very difficult to read all the fine print when you eyes are filled with tears.