Love your honesty....
just one thing tho that I noticed...

watch out for this.......

then i break down crying: i don't mean to...
him: i know. it would be a completely different thing if you didn't feel bad about it.

.. ..the danger is tha you connect here on the basis of the emotional drama, and that makes you feel close.. him to you and you to him.... but the downside is that your getting love and closeness around having a problem rather than bein well, so this can keep it getting worse.

Imagine if he's said;

" I love you and care about you, I want to see you well, so get it together, and I'll be waiting for you when you'r free of drugs influence !!!