(((Mouse, Lenny, Gimmeice, Pegasus, Sannah)))

Many thanks for the wonderful, compassionate posts. How come you guys always know what to say? Even when it concerns a violent freak like me. Well, in my heart I swear I'm not like that - it's just that... it happens.

In reply to Sannah's questions, I would say I have absolutely no idea why I react that way. Maybe I do feel powerless. I recall that on Monday, I hit him because I thought that he thought that I was stupid.. when in fact, he was trying to show affection (I think - I don't remember much about it). That if he thinks I'm stupid the way I am, then I'm weak, and being angry doesn't mean I'm weak - so that's why I had to act like that.

Maybe that is the reason. I don't know, I just came up with it, or maybe it's just a pathetic use for something that would make a good explanation.

Anyway.. the journey towards psychotherapy continues (not like it hasn't been going on for the past 6 months, but they just tell me I'm too psychotic for that, grr).. Thanks for your compassion, it means a lot to me to see that people believe I'm not really that kinda jerk.


Twilight