Quote:
i THINK im doomed, i think im miserable, i think im angry, i think im forgotten, i think im cursed, i think im shameful, i think im beyond repair
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This doesn't sound like someone who wants to be left alone. It sounds like someone who feels alone, but wants to be happy, wants to be calm, wants to be remembered, wants to be blessed, wants to feel good, wants to feel loved.
Are you in psychotherapy? All these things you want are things you can explore in psychotherapy. Your life can feel so much better.