i don't have a spouse but my grown son used to make some side remarks out my bp..like, "ah mom your bp is in full gear today," etc.(sarcastic)
so sorry that your husband doesn't try to understand what you go through on a daily basis. seems like he uses that like a wedge in your relationship when he's angry or somthin'. and you've done so many constructive things to inform him...
what i did with my son worked altho i don't know if it would work with your husband cause it sounds like he lacks compassion. i told my son one day how much it hurt me that he made the side remarks about my bipolar. i said if i had cancer and was hooked up to chemo would you make an unkind remark then? i told him i didn't ask for this disorder and he was fortunate it wasn't in his own genes! so basically i was just telling him how it made me feel and then the disease aspect of it. it changed his whole attitude towards the bipolar.
have you asked your husband to go to one of your visits with the pdoc or T? i don't know if he's go but you could dscuss this with the T beforehand and ask him to explain it to your husband. then the T could be like a mediator in the setting. i fear tho that your husband would poh-pooh the whole idea cause he doesn't sound willing to understand what you deal with on a daily basis.
sorry i couldn't be more helpful but i hope your situation improves for the better. no one should have to experience this type of behavior from a loved one.