I'm sorry I don't remember--do you talk to a therapist or anyone?

Please remember it is the depression talking all the negative thoughts. Obviously only you know how close you are, but if the rational part of you knows he would never leave you, try letting that voice be heard a little more. Again, obviously you have to do what you are comfortable with, but could you write it out in a letter if you can't talk about it. I know sometimes (sometimes??) I get so emotional I start to cry and get sidetracked. You could write it down and be right there when he reads it. That might be tense waiting for him to read it, but it's an option. Or you could show him your posts on here to open the door to talking.