I only just remembered I posted this thread....and reading it, I am thinking, what the **** you talking about, your fantasies are as strong as ever...I read the link you posted Echoes, and I feel more hopeless having read it, like will I ever have "enought" of what T has to offer?? I mean the sending her my family photos and how wonderful that felt over the wkend, I felt I have been able to bring her into my family life, my wider world...and I was on a high and seeing how I desperately miss this feeling and how I am always looking for someone to make me theirs...and now this morning? its gone again, I feel all empty...I tried to tell myself that T is still there, what she offered me was real and I did feel it, unyet its still not enought...dam!!! I so dont want to talk about this with her today, I feel embarrased talking about how "filled" up I felt with her reply to my photo email..it feels so shameful....it feels soooooooooooooooo, oh I dunno, I just want to have that "filled" up feeling all of the time...I want T now more...I want her all of the time...but then I'd get annoyed if she walked out of the room for a moment if I did have her all the time...what is it I'm missing? what do I need to face? do I Need to mourn and finally accept we cannot have anyone all of the time??? because I wont believe that...I'm sure if I can just wish it hard enought, it will come true LOL!!!.