try to walk out the door for lesson

start panicking
feeling lightheaded

I even fell down on the ground at one point
get my cello on my back books on start to get out the door panick some more
go over and catch my breath on the couch just as I try to leave again my teacher calls
and I just tell him what's going on

no lesson this week just a BIG FAIL

oh yeah. and the meeting I had today to get on the RIGHT meds well.... beacuse of my problems COULDN'T WAKE UP FOR IT, so my bf pays for a zipcar, get there 15 minutes, yes 15 minutes late and they won't see me for another 10 DAYS! AND IT'S GOING TO GET WORSE NOW CUZ I'M NOT ON ANY MEDS

AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I came
I tried
I FAILED