Thank you for sharing your story here.
You are going thru alot of stress....
yes you will need to get yourself together, work on yourself as long as you can.
Get strength, This sounds like a dysfunctional relationship.
Have you ever considered marriage counseling before>
would he go for that?
bizi[/quote]

Hi BIZI , thanks for the rose, you see I havent been on in a day or two, I just don't want him to know about my haven. I signed us up for marriage counseling on a Monday, it was scheduled for Friday (two months ago) @5pm, and he basically said he was working late when Friday came. I have no proof of if he was working or just blew it off. I haven't rescheduled because it costed 60 bucks, and I don't want to waste money or do this office that way by canceling and end up banned from the place. 60 buck for an hour. I am going to reschedule, but I decided to wait until after my appointment and according to you all it takes a few weeks for my RX to get in my system and then go, incase I may look back and something was my fault, or maybe it wasn't . I just want to be clear. And I don't want my Bi-P to be a scapegoat or an issue anymore. So, yeah , your'e right. at this point I am going to work on myself as much as I can, then the marriage, and if he doesn't seem ligit after that, HE GOTTA GO ! Plus I want you to know, I have never experienced Bi-P with my kids, I don't discipline them, and I am so personal and hands-on with them, they don't need it. I discipline them verbally (not yelling) and it has been effective. It's the marriage, and the Bi-P. So my goal is to get ME , mentally , IN CHECK . And then work on my marriage with a clear, calm, rational state of mind. And if it can be saved, THEN I WILL SAVE IT. And if not, I want to be strong enough to let it go. And overall, go forward in life. Thanks BIZI, TALK TO YOU LATER