Oh boy, I understand the dilemma, I am where you are headed. It's tough but getting out was the only way to go. I had to actually have my ex incarcerated to get away. I remember all too well the fake nice he put on to get his foot back in the door, it NEVER lasted. I also found that the longer he wore that "nice" mask, the worse it was when he inevitably lost it. Please, if this man is violent, be very careful. Have all your ducks in a row before you make a move, however, MAKE THE MOVE, and do it as soon as you can, don't wait till it's too late, don't become a statistic. You have no way of predicting your kids future when you leave, unfortunately you have a pretty good judge of knowing who they will become if you stay. Girls will ALMOST certainly wind up with an abuser, and boys have a big chance of becoming one. As their mother, you must do what you believe is in their best interest, is growing up with a man like that really in their best interest?. Tell "them" that when people are arrogant enough to question your decision!. The VERY best of luck to you. I hope you are already long gone from this situation..........