((((((((((((((((((((((((everyone))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you for your thoughtful and caring replies. I guess it gives me some hope to know that others have talked and survived. I have T tomorrow.

I asked T today on the phone how long this was going to last- how long it would take before *I* had the power. He said he didn't know, but that it is happening. And I had a realization and told him "I'm going to have to be willing to go through it first though" - it was such an "a-ha" moment that seems SO obvious, but I just wasn't getting it. I just want it gone, but I guess that's not how it works.

I'm scared...like just crazy, out of my mind scared....but grateful for the hope I've found here.