((Kebs)))))) i hope getting how you feel about all this out here is helping you, i can relate to a lot of what you are saying and i guess for me ive learned to accept the things i cannot change, the wisdom to know the difference, and the sanity to get the hell out when i am able.... course, with some people in my life i find myself in a place of starting over again and again... it helps to define the boundaries and be firm about how much i will do for them when dysfunction rears up its ugly head.. we need to be in a good place ourselves before we can be much use to others i think except in those family emergencies where they roust you out of bed at any hour and we need to be there like we hope others would be in our time of need.. i hope there is some amount of joy for you in this although i have to agree that the frog population in AZ in not as high as it is there in Florida