thank you jbug
thanks pegasus..... I'm trying, it's hard but I'm trying.

I'm sat in tears, my heads a big mess. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I can't help myself. I'm trying to scare myself into taking my meds now because I really don't want to go to hospital, but I know that's where I'll end up. I'm ill and I'm getting really weak... and I know it's due to lack of sleep and food.
John was the only person that would listen and understand me and now there's noone that get's it at all... the only other person I have irl is my mm and she's making me worse, she doesn't understand that dhe is though.
I don't understand who to talk to, I don't understand whst to do .

I KNOW i HAVE to take my meds, i know I ave to figure things out for myself, but

oh I don't know how, i don't know what to do, I've never been like this