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Sorry that you are feeling like you do, but you are right to say you deserve to be happy, loved and so much more. Have you thought about seeing a therapist? That is one way to see if you do or don't suffer from depression. Continue to work on being happy and strong from day to day, and soon good things will happen to you.
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Today I am going to spend more time looking for all the positive things about myself. Today I recongnize myself and acknowledge myself as a terrific human being.
by of: Time for Joy by Ruth Fishel
Cindy 
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