allabout, my answer has changed now that I read our latest message. If he is taking advantage of you financially--not working, and making you pay down his debt--I definitely think you should move forward legally on your own. Maybe have a brief talk with him first, "I can't keep paying your bills when you aren't even working. I'm definitely going to have to move forward with divorce. If you're not ready to do that yet, I need you to start paying your bills immediately." This is giving him "one last chance" before you do more legal stuff.

Also, make sure you talk closely with your lawyer. If he is not working, you may end up having to pay spousal maintenance (alimony) and that would totally not be fair. How long has he been unemployed? When figuring the maintenance, at least in my state, they "impute" income to a person if they are voluntarily unemployed or underemployed. So if your T is choosing not to work, he would be assigned an income of what he could make if he went out to get a job for purposes of figuring the maintenance. But his lawyer could fight that. On the other hand, how will he pay a lawyer if he is unemployed? I think a first order of business with your lawyer is to separate your finances. Close all joint accounts, including any joint credit cards. Make sure your name is off of the accounts so that when he doesn't pay on them, your credit rating is not affected. You may still be affected even if your name is not on them, due to community responsibility for debt. Ask your lawyer about this. Look at some legal way to separate finances so you are no longer liable for his bills. At the very least, call up the credit card company and explain the situation. Perhaps the credit cards he owes on can be closed but they will still continue to send the bills--just no more charges to those cards!

You sound like you are being very understanding with a guy who is totally taking advantage of you. Disregard my prior answer! You have a son and you need money to support him and you--you can't be supporting a deadbeat.