If both you and he have decided he should have his turn, then what is holding him back? Is he unable to find a partner? If he is going out all the time, why hasn't he slept with anyone yet? Why are the two of you fighting and not sleeping together? Could it be that the two of you really didn't want this after all? Maybe you can ask him what he really wants and give him an easy out if he really doesn't want to take his turn. Maybe that's what the therapist meant by cut his losses. I don't know. I would focus on the relationship with your husband right now and not worry about what's going on with your therapist. I do think it is up to the partners to determine whether their relationship is open, not the therapist. In my own marriage, my H had hidden affairs and when I found out, he encouraged me to have some lovers of my own. I was not interested and think he said this just to make himself feel less guilty for his infidelity and deceit. Could it be that your husband was challenging you to have another partner but didn't really think you'd take him up on the release from your vows? Now that you did, he's pissed off and feeling possessive and cheated on? Just throwing out ideas....