thank you. i will keep all that in mind. i told my last therapist i was drinking too much and it seemed that was all she focused on. i am a problem drinker, i drink more the more serious a situation in my life. i know im an alcoholic im just not your typical, hard to explain. i have found through therapy in the past that i can get back on the right track and i think with the right therapist i can do that. im seeing a new one next week thursday. the night i ended up in the hospital was after a therapy session , im not blaming it on her but i really think her approach with me was just wrong for me. im trying to keep my head up and just had a conversation with my closest friend who really showed her concern for me. she said she would go to a meeting with me if i wanted to try. that meant so much to me. i have gone to AA once before and thought it was not for me,but my friend told me maybe i need to go to one not alone so its not so scary for me. i do have slight anxiety in a crowd of people and especially sharing intimate details of life and admitting i cant do something all on my own. im a very independant person. i feel i can beat anything no matter how hard the trial. im giving it one more shot. if this consumes me or is dangerous to my health im going to take her up on going to a meeting and try not doing it alone. thank you for your concern and i will try to stay healthy