currently I suspect me to have some sort of autism, aspergers syndrome, social anxiety / anxiety attacks, adhd and maybe some bi-polar.
Here are my symptoms that I know that I have:
- Eye Contact - I looked at a video film of me, I can't make direct eye contact for more than 2 seconds, I look away; to the sides, down and random places and then make eye contact again.
- Forgetful - I keep on forgetting things such as when leaving my room to go for work or school, I keep on repetitively forgetting my glasses, backpack and such. Its getting old as I'm not "learning" not to forget it, and keep on going out of my room only seconds later to go back in to get it.
I would be in a conversation and they would tell me about their weekend and then later on the day I would ask them what they did for the weekend. I keep on asking the same questions and telling the same stories about me over and over because I forgot whether or not I told it them. Part of the reason is that I talk to several people throughout the day. This really annoys people and I lose friends this way.
- Bouncy - my legs are subconscoiusly moving by itself when I'm sitting down. I have to conscoiusly think for them to stop so that they will stop. When I'm not paying attention they move.
- Impulsive - I blurt out things out of the random that comes in my mind when I am close to someone. When with people I don't know, I control myself better. I get really excited that I say some random things that would not relate to the converstation at all and even say overboard things (sexually and gross things).
- Social anxiety - I have now promised myself not to go to any public occasions or parties because I simply do not talk to anyone. I just sit alone on the coach and do my own thing hoping my friends get bored so we can leave this place. I feel that people are all looking at me and watching for me to make a mistake
- Highs and Lows - right now i'm in my low mode, i feel that i don't deserve anything and that I'm a loser and such. I don't think i'm good enough for anything. i just feel like failing classes and being a homeless person so people can pity me.
when i'm on my high i feel like taking over the world. i am usually the best at what i do. i do more progressive things that will lead to success and i am usually successful. i dont care what people say or think because i'm on top of the world. my lows and highs usually cycle for weeks and sometimes a couple of months. right now i've been at my low for almost more than a month. i haven't hit my high mood yet, but i'm expecting it soon. sometimes I would just be low for a whole month, high for just a few days, then back to my low again.
when i'm on my low i don't talk to any females or even attempt to look good. i dress like a homeless person, don't do my hair and such. when i'm on my high i dress nicely, talk to girls and attempt to make friends.
on my low i just isolate myself in my room not wanting to talk to anyone.
I will think more as I come up with it, but I gotta do my research online first so i can find the right therapist i need instead of spending cash to just get referred to the appropriate people.