Stefanie Looking at your post you have accomplished so much when there were so many reasons to give up - you didnt - you kept on and you got a degree! wow! thats more than I did and I had far less to put up with than you - you say you lost everything but now you have started again - that takes real courage - someone once said its not how many times you fall that matters - its how many times you get up! and you have done that so many times - give yourself a break - the hardest thing of all (ive found) is to be kind to yourself - you HAVE survived and that was no mean feat - hopefully you can get some assistance once you get that medical aid you mentioned and then things will start to get better for you - till then keep posting here if you need support - dont give up P7