Sky,
I've taken a few days to reply as I'm not sure just how to say it and hope I'm not hijacking the thread-- I don't believe I am, as my inquiry to you is about taking responsiblity.

You wrote: it is part of their problem if they have given me such power to hurt them. It is part of their need for improvement if they allow one of my negative experiences to influence how happy they are... understand?

Are you saying if someone gets hurt by our triggers we're not at fault? How is it if someone is hurt - and they then become the victim - so to speak-- it's the victims fault?? I think if I've hurt someone then I own the responsiblity of that -- for what ever reason I did it.

I'm just trying to understand what you mean. My mom has mental illness issues and has hurt me a lot and it's always my fault- according to her-- that I'm hurt. I just think the person that is hurt deserves an apology if the wrong-doer really cares about that person.

Does this make sense?? I don't know, maybe I'm just confused... kind of new to this whole psychological thing and it's overwhelming sometimes. For years I denied everything and felt nothing- except when triggered-- and then I didn't understand -- why in the world I acted like I did!!

Mandy