when i had some of the worst days (which lasted for years) i had what was described as 'lack of affect' .. that made sense to me cause that pretty much was how it felt for me.. i felt like a lifeless rag doll and movement felt like i was in water, arms heavy, body slow, almost a dream state at times, not really here, but not really there either.. it really annoyed me cause i knew there was an inner self inside me yelling and screaming to get moving, get doing, but doing what??? it kept screaming tho and after awhile it started calming down when i began to accept less and less in life but found simple little ways to feel as if i mattered... giving someone else a hand made me feel the least selfish and most useful so i started doing that more often and not asking for or expecting any kind of help or reward for it...

pretty soon i was able to look myself in the mirror again...

for you it might be a little different.. maybe you spend a lot of time helping but still dont feel this connection to others or with your own life that you are seeking...

to feel good sometimes we need to know what we believe good is... how we define goodness will help help us arrive there...

i am sending you kind thoughts and prayers for your joy today Nettie